Rhyme n rhythm when go hand in hand, creates music.. music is so essential, we have song for every emotion in our life, songs that express n music that touches soul.. our movies seem so boring without them, I m a complete music crazy gal.. n I find it everywhr.. walkin down the steps.. honkin in the streets.. the dog barkin.. the chirpin birds.. the ringin bells in the temple.... i knw for sm it could b noise at times... but when i re thk, its actually my mood.. my feelings at that time.. that make it seem noise..... but otherwise its surely music..... bangin the benches while askin for a free period does sound lik noise for our ma'am, but its music in its ownnn ;)
I always lik to humm smthg, i listen to songs while riding.. yes i do always... n i dont listen to radio cz it has so much blah blah.. then music.. i knw i lik songs when amazing lyrics.. words that capture emotions, n i ve a habit of listenin the same song again n again.... my record for the same would be listenin to 'tanhayie' 250+ times... in one night.. Well today also i listen it with the same emotion.. the words, the beats.. thr's an amazing strength in it, Ahhh.. not jus bcz its Aamir's song, but it actually is that powerful... even if i change my cell no of times.. thr r certain songs that would always be thr... Ronan Keating's She believes in me.. Josh Groban's When you say you love me, Ricky Martin's Private Emotion... actually the list would b endless....

I'll be writing more to this.. addin a lot actually.....

well.. the blah blah.. continues....writin abt my day.. day dreams.. ambitions.. creative thoughts.... sittin in conference, jus lik sittin on my school desk, or coll last bench, smthg crazy used to pop in my head... today too smthg came up, bringin smile to my face, for all the ppl who know me are aware of such crazy thoughts n the crazy activities it leads to.. its lik an idea mostly weird, as unpredicatble as me comes in.. sort of surprise, sort of mischeivious.. thgs lik this keep curnin my brain.. comin back to my dreams.. actually.. nothin in peculiar.. yeah sky diving is thr.. Bungee jumpin is for sure.. Snorkeling n scuba diving.. but then thats not wht i assume as a dream.. i knw i'll b doin it.. smday for sure.... then the larger picture, my career, my hubby, my family... aahhh theyare all goin to be gr8.. sm comprises sm tiffs.. smthg good n smthg bad.. its not lik im the only one to face it all.. i'm jus prepared to face it, if not situations will teach.. if i go wrong, ppl will understand.. if they dont i'll understand.... life will teach me.. i jus trust it.. talkin a bit more abt myself would b i lik to imagine thgs.. its a new world out thr.. its my world.. happiness mostly rules it.. my world isnt abt bein perfect n nice n all.. its bein thr for each other.. jus mere sayin "i care"... my world gladly accepts the thorns with the rose, the tear drop with a crooked smile, the pain with joy.. writin seems so good the world so true..

tryin to write random....

have been reading blogs.. tryin to understand the whole blog concept... so today is my first attempt to write bizzare.. yet meaningful.. about me, n yet so much in general... so as i said i ve been readin blogs around.. i went thru smone.. who could actually write pages abt himself.. n that made me wonder.. wht is abt me, that could b written???? my likes dislikes.. my behavior.. my dreams... my understanding abt anythg n everythg... well whenever i ve tried to think abt myself, the thg that pops in is am i bein selfish....???? n no matter wht i thk.. this has to come..... "yeah it does come even if i thk of ordering my fav "hot cocoa latte"..... sad, but true............. its not lik i havent seriously sat down n thought of it.. but this thg restricts me mostly... but then this yr.. (sort of summin up 2010) i have done thgs that my heart says.. n bashed up the inner voice sayin.. so wht.. i wanna do it... i would happily consider it as my achievement.. ya i ve done waterfall rappelling, tried out partyin late night.. jus bitching abt few ppl.. thought of takin revenge, but thats seriously not me :( may b in 2011... i'll gather the courage to do so.....

Now talkin abt my likes... i'll never b able to give up loving Aamir.. (blushin.. ) n thinkin of zoobi doobi... wow... i could jus close my eyes.. n thk... n........... lets not discuss.. ahh dislikes sad human beings.. n unfortunately i knw ample of them :( but its okkk without them where will i get my humor n my excellent taunting skills.... dislike lies as well.. also shallow human beings.... now abt my behaviour.. i ve always been good atleast tried to b.. n yaa i believe be good to others not bcz they are good to us, be good coz u believe in goodness....... but lately since this revenge thg has struck my brain, i'm thkin that let ur actions define my reactions.. i knw.. i knw.. again thats not me.... but i could b................ well thats for today.. my dreams, n my blah blah... for sm other day ;)

Pain

Pain, it isn't yours or mine.. its jus pain….

We all go thru various emotions, hurt, betrayal, pain, anger.. the reasons for same are mostly similar, what we feel is equally similar, but difference lies in the form of our expression.. smone can b reluctant abt his/her own feelings n smone jus too sensitive, or one may think of revenge or at least make that person aware wht it actually means to feel in such situation…

I may ve faced many situations.. but each time I’ve tried to analyse my feelings, why did it hurt so bad.. n why did I not react that way.. wht made me feel so insecure, n wht made me lose my temper… certain emotions are beyond the caste, creed or the places we’ve been living or brought up… I relate to the daughter who lost her father in the air crash far away in Russia.. the same way the daughter whose father was taken away by the cruel tsunami tide…

The pain, the loss.. the helplessness is the same…. The fact that come wht may, I won’t get him back… is the ground reality that I’ve to make peace with…

The more I ve gone thru such situations the more I’ve realised it.. that to understand the loss, the separation one needs to experience it.. coz that’s when u understand the genuine feelings…. Its so true that if one does go thru similar circumstances, one ends up sayin smthg absurd n uncalled for thgs at that time…
for me it was easy to let go.. or jus to forgive ppl.. since I had already assumed or well aware of these kind of ppl.. but yes it did affect my behavior later on, as it made those ppl predictable… making me stronger, calmer..

Thinkinnnnn

Its so true that we think about many thgs at a time.. we start with smthg, we conclude smthg else… there are thgs we want to discuss n understand it better, there are thgs we are unaware of n when in a conversation we jus realise it…. Its lik opening up to every aspect of a thg.. the various facets of a single thg…. The ppl around us, their opinion, their experiences teach us, guide us, smtimes we agree smtimes we don’t…..

In the morning if u wake up with a smile, n u’ll find many reasons to smile abt throughout the day… at times it isn’t so.. u may start wit a lot of enthusiasm, n sm plan in my mind, but would end up feelin low… for sm unknown reasons ur thoughts would b distracted, a weird lonely feelin will catch up with u….

I’m so feelin the same right now.. simply lost, n still don’t want to b found….. it started off with beautiful morning, a nice cup of coffee.. my fav song on the radio channel, taking a nice head bath, dressin up in my fav attire… hummin the same tune.. I come to my desk.. with the same happiness I change my wallpaper as well, ask to get smthg to munch… say hi, hello to all… it’s a happy chirpy start…..
now while munchin…… jus lik a virus, a thought pops in.. why do I think in English.. my mother tongue bein marathi, I still thk in English.. why so??? I try to thk in marathi.. n I actually take efforts.. add up a few words, try to conclude smthg, re collect few conversations, but hell no……. I end up thkin or wandering in my thoughts with the broken marathi n English words to support… crazy isn’t it…??

So helpless I was n so angry on myself… why is this thinking process so difficult.. at the end its my mother tongue…………??

Seeking out the answers for the same, its surely a food for thought, yaa I do feel comfortable with English, may b my vocab is equally supportive of thoughts… my conversations with frnds on certain topics may b in English itself… jus running thru all this.. n yet again I end up thkin in English itself..

Arrange Marriage or Love Marriage

When I think of loving someone, I think of living my entire life with him, I think what is it in him that I'm ready to stand against my parents, my friends, relatives…
What is it in him that I can forget the love n' support given by my parents
But then I realize…even he is ready to stand against all these odds for me…jus for me…
That makes me special for him, n' he becomes so special for me…
But when my mom or dad find a guy for me…of course they'll think of my best but can this all generate so strong feelings for a stranger…a very new person…now I need to think that can I accept him, can I share everything, am I ready to trust him…
I always choose to get married to a person whom I love, n' that love means…a feeling within me that says, yes I want to grow old with him, I want to be with him through every phase of life, support him, walk with him…trouble him, love him, tease him, share everything, cry on his shoulders, hit him, even kiss him…
I don't know how u may react to this all…but if u love someone…express it, coz that person deserves to be loved…needs to know the care, the love u have for him/her…
Its tough to take a decision, make a commitment of lifetime…but u have to do it…

Smtimes...

Smtimes you jus visit a place.. n smtimes u visit ur memories, relive the moments.. cherish the experience…. Small details become the highlight…. When you grow up.. you realise that the past experiences, certain thgs which were “jus another day” would b a tale to tell…. its lik my school, my college, my bench, my old home, my playground, everythg becomes personlised.. kinda a tag to it…. We know, that now smone else is using it, still the “my” thg.. isn’t easy to let go… a strong sense of belonging.. each time I relive my life thru these memory lanes.. the ppl, the environment, the time.. all that runs thru ur head.. n wht does it do…. The best thg is.. it brings a smile on ur face..!! n yaa its not necessary that only happy moments are re collected, there are tears shared, there are mishaps re lived, sm traumas to it as well…. smthg lik learning to ride a bicycle, it has the first time thg to it.. my very own bicycle… ohhh n how will I forget my first fist fight, after falling while learning to ride…….. crazy was I then.. but its now all smiles.. I remember, writing essay was a big thing, a topic given.. lil discussed.. n then told to write… it was a bit of experience, a lil imagination, n sm ideas induced.. we had many diverse topics n it was a task then.. but while writing this, I felt that wasn’t it an effort to re collect moments n jot it down.. an effort to make us aware of situations and tryin to analyse them… if I start doin that now, may b I’ll have a different perspective towards thgs, situations, ppl, n above all myself…

Identity

Wht does this word tell u, wht thoughts does it bring in ur mind
Myself, how I am, how I react, why I react, wht makes up my mind, whom I listen to,
N why I listen to only them, are they always right, so many thgs come in my mind…
Am I what I think, or are my thoughts the result of the people that influence me…?
Have I always thought about others while taking any decision for me? Or have I given importance to what I feel? Sometimes we give importance to what others think…n' don't think about how n' to what extend it's going to affect us, our future
I think whenever I take a decision, that's just not affecting me, but also the people around me, my family, my likings, my future, and every person that has place in my life
But if I take that decision hastily then it's going to affect only me…
For one moment I should be all alone n think about myself, what I like, how I want my life to be, how can I be happy, always happy…n' make others happy forever…
If I take a decision jus bcoz someone says, or I need to then…I am neglecting the thgs that may happen…later on…the problems I would face…n' make others face as well…

Discrimination

A weird thg or should i call interesting thg happened today... while coming back home.. in bus i saw the board that says "mahilan sathi" which is for ladies... n one aunty aggresively came from behind n made a boy get up from the seat, she sat down.. but was not satisfied as there were still 2 boys sitting in front of her.... now she wanted girls/ women to sit there.. sadly there werent many around., so on the next stop 2 girls climbed in............ she got her prey n victims ( not really) then she made the 2 guys aware abt those seats were ladies seat, one of them (poor fellow) got up.. n gave the seat away.. other was annoyed by the women activist's talk.. so didnt bother to get up n avoided by sayin.. ya jus one stop more.. Now the lady had to say thgs, talk abt how rude guys ve become.. how they dont respect elders n law.. n blah blah.... (of course it did bring smile to my face :) when his stop came he left.. n now the fun part begins.. i was standing all along, n didnt mind either ( cz im seriously not into this feminism n all) n one old man (who was suppositly allowed to sit on ladies seat) got down at his stop.. the lady looked at me, expectin me to sit.. n my stop was lik jus 2 stops away, n ya the entire i sit only in office....... so wht if i stood for a while???? but she wanted to talk abt it, said to the lady passenger next to her.. cant she sit?? why is she showin attitude???" n i heard n giggled (shameless as ever) yaa this also she said to the lady besides her............ oh god, wht a fun ride i had..!!!

but thru all this.. only one thg was running in my mind.. why this gender discrimination?? n then the unacceptance of being called as the softer gender... bein a girl do i need to been given a favour from a boy to make my place??? well no i know how to create my own place... n i've been taught by my parents that a girl n boy, when marry are the equal wheels of the same bullockcart.. they ve their own share of responsibilities, own set of struggles.. but when fought together.. thgs get easier, simpler n surely happier when taken each other into consideration... we fight for rights n all but forget duties.... my son or daughter.. should be brought in environment which doesnt have gender discrimination.. as it is in India there arent enuf reasons to fight abt?????????

jus lik that

hasnt it been fun playin around with words... havent they always understood you, its lik no matter wht.. words are jus thr.. to help u express........ off course silence has its charm.. n ya talkin with eyes is beyond words... sm romantic encounters.. sm innocent smiles.. a babies laughter.. all mere words, make u visualise a memory..... while readin this u'll surely go thru it.. n giggle to urself... (jus now the way i'm) hee hee.... life has many experiences..... many reasons to bring that smile on ur face, yet we crib.. we know cribbin doesnt solve issues, yet we crib..... but when we realise how stupid its to crib..... the smile jus gets us goin....... i re live all the good memories n waitin eagerly for makin new ones, my trek wit frnds, my lunch hr in office.. a bday treat with my cousins, my sisters gift of lovely earrings.. my mom's tricky gift on my bday.. learnin cycle (boys cycle) wit dad.. eatin out of my bro's plate.. teasin a classmate.. playin holi.. dancing on new yr's eve.. so much crazy suff... its a cherishing moment.. when lived to the fullest.. eatin PP n laughin lik crazies... a memory shared wit every frnd of mine........... isnt that gr8 a single thg shared wit different ppl at diff time....... god.. my smile seems never ending.. agreed bad patches have been there, for me a rough patch yet.. living life n makin others happy hasnt hampered yet.. cz wht happened wasnt in my hand, nor could i stop it.. wanted to fight, but couldn't fight destiny.. didnt lose faith..... but memories will b thr to strengthen me, along wit my buddies who will create more such memories.. n happiness will make is way towards me ;)